I have done maybe 25 book signings in my brief career.  Hardly makes me a pro.  Someone like Stephen King probably does 25 in a week.   Yet, I seem to have encountered a disproportionate amount of weird people and general strangeness.  Maybe it's the fact the title of my book has the word bizarre in it?  Is this all it takes to become a freak magnet?  For example at these signings I have met-

*The religious guy who told me God had sent him to talk to me- about what we never discussed.  Evidently it wasn't my book (he didn't buy one).

*The other religious guy who talked to me a lot about salvation and Jesus...later he  showed me the stack of pin-up and nude art books he was taking in the cafe to peruse.

*The lady who tried to bargain the price of my book with me.  This was in a Barnes & Noble where we sell them for what the store says we sell them for, and even after I explained that she still tried to bargain.  Her reason, her leg had gotten mangled in some sort of work accident.  She showed me the damage and said that because her worker's comp was so low I should sell her the book for eight bucks cheaper than the cover price...yet she had one of those $6 caramel coffees in her hand the whole time.

*The guy who wanted to know if Osceola was a good guy or bad guy?  This was a grown man, mind you, easily in the middle age range.  I went into a whole spiel about it was relative- the Native Americans at the time thought he was a hero, but the US military leaders thought he was a "bad guy" and wanted him captured.  However, even many of his opponents thought he was brave and admired his courage, and the plight of the Seminole tribe as a whole was viewed somewhat sympathetically by many on the opposing side.  His response?  He blinked, and asked again "So was he a bad guy or a good guy?'  I was dumbfounded.  I said "Bad to some, good to others." That seemed to answer his curiosity.   This made me think back to when I was 10, when my friends and I would play some silly game with plastic guns or swords and we were divided up into "good guys" and "bad guys."

OK, I admit it. This one is pretty funny.  I was at the College of Charleston book fair- which coincides with the Freshmen weekend.  So there are lots of families touring the campus.  Set up nearby where photo booths where you could get your group picture taken and placed on a key chain or button with some spiffy slogan on it like "Family Memories- Charleston '08" or "This is right before we found out Junior was wasting our money and not going to class."   The two other authors I was sitting with insisted we all go and get buttons made- each of us needed a button with our name and the title of our book on it.  I didn't want to, but this didn't stop them from bugging me about every 10 minutes or so.  They got their buttons done, and I was the odd man out.  About 2 hours later I caved and stood in line and got my button made.  I asked for "Mike Coker- Charleston Curiosities" please.  This is what I got.     

 Feb  1- 2009
Some Signings and Appearances Since Last Blog

To be honest I don't really remember all of the dates/ places I have been since my last post.  Not that I'm implying there was a massive swarm.  I'm hardly on a publicity circuit for the next big thing.  I just mean that I had a few, and am sure with a little effort I could find the dates, places, and times.  But really- does this mean much to anyone?  I mean, I don't really care and I'm the one hawking the book.     

So I will do the best I can with my Diet Coke addled recall.

Let's see I spoke at the holiday banquet of some Masons.  Great group of guys and gals (spouses were in attendance). My oldest pal Kevin came out with me since my wife and daughter were out at another holiday gathering.    

 For anyone who thinks the Masons are the secret rulers of the world, heirs to the Knights Templar or anything like that I advise you to attend a meeting sometime. I'm not a Mason, but like you I've seen that movie, read some literature and wondered what the fuss was all about. 

Well, let me give you the scoop- they are a group of professionals in various fields, varied in age, who happen to be civic minded, and like to support  charities.  They held a business meeting without mention of anything remotely sinister or secretive.   Nada on the Holy Grail or the Illuminati or the faked moon landing.

Anyway, the night went OK.  I was more nervous than I should have been,  and its' always a bit disconcerting with the audience faces away from you and stares at the powerpoint screen instead.  So all in all I probably gave a less than stellar performance, but they were very kind and gracious. 

After the Masons I did a couple of signings at one of the absolute coolest historic places in Charleston- The Old Powder Magazine.  Ca. 1712 this building is a real treat just to sit and hang out in.  The Director of the place, Alan, is a super-nice guy and I am honored to call him a personal friend as well.  The people you meet here are a real cross-section of tourists- some are tourists-tourists while others are tourists-family of locals- exploring the sites.  Most of the time they are happy to talk and interact with you.  Say what you will about tourists, but people on vacation tend to be happier than those punching the clock. 

I also did a Barnes and Noble signing with 4 other local authors.  They all showed and we kept each other company.  Its' infinitely less sad when there are five people hanging out and laughing, than the way it sometimes goes at those larger book stores.
 
  I've done a few where you are isolated and the customers at the store, who've never heard of you, and only there for coffee avoid you like the plague.  Afraid you'll try to rope them into a sale, they avoid eye-contact and leap past you like your table like a bleeding gazelle in front of a lion.  Hey, I'm not faulting anyone.  I've done it too, and will  do it again in the future.  As much as I'm in bookstores I would go broke if I bought a book every time an author was there signing.  There is just no good way to do this, feigned interest is even worse, so this is probably the lesser of evils.  I do try to smile and say hello now, and keep my pace a littile less panicked  (Note to any readers...if you fall as you pass an authors table we will start heaping books on you, whatever touches you must be purchased....sorry these are long-established rules).    

I did an lecture at a community center in Summerville, SC (part of my whistle stop 3-city tour....just imagine the tour shirt)!   Par for the course I got us lost and was slightly late.  My lovely wife did not fling me out of the car and run me over as I'm sure she wanted to (and rightly deserved).   I have a terrible, terrible time with directions and get lost all the time going anywhere new.  My father in-law even bought me a GPS for my car for Christmas, but I had managed to leave it at home this time....smooth.

The lecture went well even after I decided to wing it and not use my notes...a bit scattered for my tastes but the small group of folks who came out did seemed to like it.  Definitely a group I would come back to for any future projects.

I did have an SCV thing, but I canceled it because we were slated to get snow that evening.  It fizzled and the great storm of '09 came to naught.  I have it rescheduled for Oct.  Whew!  I was worried that I had left them in a lurch and would be mad.

And that is that.  I'm doing another community thing on Tue and another Mason thing later in the month. 

Oh, I got a sweet mini write-up in the latest Charleston Magazine.  I'll see if they'll let me post it.   OK, will try to keep this a little more current.  You never know when I might say something interesting.  You don't want to miss that do you?   

 
 

Dec 19
Book signing, Fri 7-9 pm
Royall Ace Hardware
883 Ben Sawyer Blvd.
Mt Pleasant, SC 29464

 I did my second of the Ace Hardware signings last night and thought I would jot down a few words about it before I get ready for work this morning.  (Hah- its' now January- great job keeping the blog up).
This was the first time I have been inside the famous Royall hardware and I was looking forward to it.   For those of you not from the area this store has been locally-operated for decades and is a favorite with locals. I have eaten at  "Johnny's," the small sandwich and hotdog place next to the store...mmmm hot dog with liquid cheddar cheese squirted on it....this is definitely on the list "not as foul as it sounds."  

Anyway, the store is nice and has that old small-town store vibe.  The owners, Mr. Royall and his wife, and the employees were incredibly nice and welcoming.  This time- one other author showed- Mrs. Bitsy Fosty, who has put together a pictorial walking tour of Charleston and a historic images '09 calendar. 

The event was better attended, but still pretty sparse.  I did get to meet a nice couple that had just relocated from Asheville. 

During the ample downtime I browsed the shelf and found one of those radio/flashlight dealies that is powered by a hand crank-  something like 100 cranks gets you 3 minutes of juice.  How useful this would be in the event of a zombie-uprising I thought (I just saw the holiday movie 'Dawn of the Dead').  That was my theme for the evening as I sipped hot cider and talked to the gracious owners and employees who had stayed late on my behalf.  I scanned the shelves trying to locate anti-zombie paraphernalia.  Found quite of bit of head-bludgeoning implements and other things to keep the hungry dead at bay.  I'm a bit iffy on the paintcans though- maybe if I can rig something up Macaulay Culkin style?  Hmm...sounds like the plot of my next book...they did do a zombie version of "Snakes On A Plane" (Flight of the Living Dead).  Maybe its' time for a zombie verison of "Home Alone?"  Could be cinematic dynamite. 

At the end of the evening I had a pretty solid grasp of what sections of the store to hit should the dead start to rise...and I even managed to sell a few books.  And isn't that what Christmas is all about- increasing your royalties and preparing for the zombies?